Stress
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I've been so stressed out from everything this past month. First my sister tried to kill herself by overdosing on her prescription medication, she finally gets home and a few days later my friend Jaime goes in for suicidal thoughts.
Having his dog and mine destroying everything was too much to bear. Now I'm stuck cleaning it up alone.
My friend Paul bought me yet another charging cord for my headphones, and Cleopatra chewed them up in less than a week. I even put hot sauce on the cord. She licked it off.
My stress just keeps going up. Jaime's dog Fate eat my new insulin, and I can't get a new pen until next month. Jaime took out 5 bags of trash, and I am still gathering more trash. I haven't even done my laundry yet this month.
Feeling more like myself
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After going through a serious bout of depression, I have started feeling more like myself.
I had to factory reset my laptop, and I lost so much. That's hard to swallow!
Thankfully I am slowly pulling out of the murky recesses of my brain and getting back to what the world should be like.
History of the Pide Piper
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The Pied Piper of Hamelin (German: der Rattenfänger von Hameln, also known as the Pan Piper or the Rat-Catcher of Hamelin) is the title character of a legend from the town of Hamelin (Hameln), Lower Saxony, Germany.
The legend dates back to the Middle Ages, the earliest references describing a piper, dressed in multicolored ("pied") clothing, who was a rat catcher hired by the town to lure rats away with his magic pipe. When the citizens refuse to pay for this service as promised, he retaliates by using his instrument's magical power on their children, leading them away as he had the rats. This version of the story spread as folklore and has appeared in the writings of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the Brothers Grimm, and Robert Browning, among others. The phrase "pied piper" has become a metaphor for a person who attracts a following through charisma or false promises.
There are many contradictory theories about the Pied Piper. Some suggest he was a symbol of hope to the people of Hamelin, which had been attacked by plague; he drove the rats from Hamelin, saving the people from the epidemic.
The earliest known record of the story originates from the town of Hamelin itself, depicted in a stained glass window created for the church of Hamelin, which dated to around 1300. Although the church was destroyed in 1660, several written accounts of the tale have survived.
To Tired To Sleep
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I'm getting a little better. The kitchen just needs to be mopped, counter tops and stove top washed down with hot water.
Most of the dishes done. I had to wash them in the bathroom thanks to still having no hot water in the kitchen.
Trash is by the hallway closet, waiting for Jaime or Elijah to take it out for me.
Yesterday was a disaster for me. My laptop had to b taken back to factory reset which means I lost everything on it. I keep finding more things missing that I hadn't even thought about. I had no choice though. Blue screen of death.
It's just about 5 o'clock in the morning. Exhausted, but my body won't cooperate and settle down.
Emotional Breakdown
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I had planned on finishing rearranging the bedroom today, but I didn't get to it. While I took my normal nap, Cleopatra decided she was too bored. Her answer to boredom was to shred the last roll of toilet paper I had.
Waking up to the fresh hell in the bathroom, I called Jaime and he came and took her for an hour. Anger subsided to sadness, and I called him and said to bring her back. I was over the anger.
Anger is fine to have as long as you can control it. In that moment when I called Jaime, I knew I couldn't. If I had lashed out at my Cleo, I could have hurt her severely. Making that call was the right choice. It allowed me to have some time to calm down. It gave me the time to cry. Hurting her will never be an option for me.
So I recleaned the bathroom, and washed enough dishes to make myself some tea. I also called my insurance to schedule a ride to my MRI on the 16th, to check for cancer. I don't believe for an instant that I have cancer, but the doctor feels better safe than sorry.
Tomorrow I will work on the other half of the bedroom and try to get back on track.
Housework Never Ends
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Today's housework was the bathroom and living room. Tomorrow will be the bedroom, and the following day the kitchen.
Bathroom nice and clean.
Living room picked up, swept and mopped. I need to get around to going through the boxes my sister brought down from Indiana.
Reminder to self - take trash out on Saturday.
Sunday if I am able, clean out the fridge and cabinets, and wash this week's dishes.
My friend Pam said I should start writing out what I need to do. That way when it gets done, I can mark it with a star or something. She hopes this will help me get over my depression.
Depression
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It doesn't matter what I do. I feel as if I can't move forward. I've called the crisis line twice since I've been back from NY.
Even the games I play Aren't distracting me from the way I feel. It used to, but doesn't any longer.
I'm pissed off, sad, and feeling alone.
Patricia started a horrible rumor about me. I think that's a big part of the depression. I feel like I should stand up and say how wrong she is. How horrible of a person she is, but what's the point? I know I'm in the right, so what if she lies to everyone?
All the boxes are what my sister brought down from Indiana. While I was in NY, the dogs were supposed to be taken care of by my sister, but she left after three days. Apparently she did absolutely nothing while she was there. I called Patricia and begged her to go over and make sure the dogs were fed and had water.
Patricia texted me and said she was overwhelmed. She didn't know how hyper and loud dogs could be. She left within ten hours. She didn't even have the decency to tell me she left.
So she has gone around telling people that I live filthy, and I don't take care of my place or my dogs. I have one dog. Jaime, my neighbor was in NY with me. There was literally nothing we could do from where we were.
Why does her lies bother me so much?
