Archive for May 2023
Feeling more like myself
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After going through a serious bout of depression, I have started feeling more like myself.
I had to factory reset my laptop, and I lost so much. That's hard to swallow!
Thankfully I am slowly pulling out of the murky recesses of my brain and getting back to what the world should be like.
History of the Pide Piper
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The Pied Piper of Hamelin (German: der Rattenfänger von Hameln, also known as the Pan Piper or the Rat-Catcher of Hamelin) is the title character of a legend from the town of Hamelin (Hameln), Lower Saxony, Germany.
The legend dates back to the Middle Ages, the earliest references describing a piper, dressed in multicolored ("pied") clothing, who was a rat catcher hired by the town to lure rats away with his magic pipe. When the citizens refuse to pay for this service as promised, he retaliates by using his instrument's magical power on their children, leading them away as he had the rats. This version of the story spread as folklore and has appeared in the writings of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the Brothers Grimm, and Robert Browning, among others. The phrase "pied piper" has become a metaphor for a person who attracts a following through charisma or false promises.
There are many contradictory theories about the Pied Piper. Some suggest he was a symbol of hope to the people of Hamelin, which had been attacked by plague; he drove the rats from Hamelin, saving the people from the epidemic.
The earliest known record of the story originates from the town of Hamelin itself, depicted in a stained glass window created for the church of Hamelin, which dated to around 1300. Although the church was destroyed in 1660, several written accounts of the tale have survived.
To Tired To Sleep
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I'm getting a little better. The kitchen just needs to be mopped, counter tops and stove top washed down with hot water.
Most of the dishes done. I had to wash them in the bathroom thanks to still having no hot water in the kitchen.
Trash is by the hallway closet, waiting for Jaime or Elijah to take it out for me.
Yesterday was a disaster for me. My laptop had to b taken back to factory reset which means I lost everything on it. I keep finding more things missing that I hadn't even thought about. I had no choice though. Blue screen of death.
It's just about 5 o'clock in the morning. Exhausted, but my body won't cooperate and settle down.
Emotional Breakdown
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I had planned on finishing rearranging the bedroom today, but I didn't get to it. While I took my normal nap, Cleopatra decided she was too bored. Her answer to boredom was to shred the last roll of toilet paper I had.
Waking up to the fresh hell in the bathroom, I called Jaime and he came and took her for an hour. Anger subsided to sadness, and I called him and said to bring her back. I was over the anger.
Anger is fine to have as long as you can control it. In that moment when I called Jaime, I knew I couldn't. If I had lashed out at my Cleo, I could have hurt her severely. Making that call was the right choice. It allowed me to have some time to calm down. It gave me the time to cry. Hurting her will never be an option for me.
So I recleaned the bathroom, and washed enough dishes to make myself some tea. I also called my insurance to schedule a ride to my MRI on the 16th, to check for cancer. I don't believe for an instant that I have cancer, but the doctor feels better safe than sorry.
Tomorrow I will work on the other half of the bedroom and try to get back on track.
Housework Never Ends
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Today's housework was the bathroom and living room. Tomorrow will be the bedroom, and the following day the kitchen.
Bathroom nice and clean.
Living room picked up, swept and mopped. I need to get around to going through the boxes my sister brought down from Indiana.
Reminder to self - take trash out on Saturday.
Sunday if I am able, clean out the fridge and cabinets, and wash this week's dishes.
My friend Pam said I should start writing out what I need to do. That way when it gets done, I can mark it with a star or something. She hopes this will help me get over my depression.
Depression
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It doesn't matter what I do. I feel as if I can't move forward. I've called the crisis line twice since I've been back from NY.
Even the games I play Aren't distracting me from the way I feel. It used to, but doesn't any longer.
I'm pissed off, sad, and feeling alone.
Patricia started a horrible rumor about me. I think that's a big part of the depression. I feel like I should stand up and say how wrong she is. How horrible of a person she is, but what's the point? I know I'm in the right, so what if she lies to everyone?
All the boxes are what my sister brought down from Indiana. While I was in NY, the dogs were supposed to be taken care of by my sister, but she left after three days. Apparently she did absolutely nothing while she was there. I called Patricia and begged her to go over and make sure the dogs were fed and had water.
Patricia texted me and said she was overwhelmed. She didn't know how hyper and loud dogs could be. She left within ten hours. She didn't even have the decency to tell me she left.
So she has gone around telling people that I live filthy, and I don't take care of my place or my dogs. I have one dog. Jaime, my neighbor was in NY with me. There was literally nothing we could do from where we were.
Why does her lies bother me so much?
Laundry
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I did three loads on Monday. 1 load was a comforter, and two loads of clothes. Now I have two loads going now. Pillows, pillowcases, and fitted sheets.
The apartment smells better now that I have apple cinnamon Glade Plugins going in the living room and bedroom.
I need to sweep, mop, and take the trash out in both rooms. Cleopatra decided the living room needed to be decorated in toilet paper streamers. At least it was only half a rolls worth. Could have been way worse!
My friend Mathew came to my rescue once again and sent me money to pay for my medicine last month, and get a few groceries. He doesn't know how much of a blessing he is to me.
The machine is out of dr pepper, so I had to get a coke-a-cola tonight.
I've been so unmotivated to deal with laundry and housework. It has to get done and I know it. It just makes me go so slow. I could have it done in a day, but seems it will take me two weeks at the turtle speed I'm going.
Update 01
Well, three of the five pillows have to be washed a second time, and I put my large comforter and a load of clothes in. Should only have one more load of towels and clothes finally. I'm almost 100% sure I will have to wash my large white comforter a second time since it's so huge.
I'll do the last load of laundry tomorrow since it's almost 4:30am, and I have an hour and half before what's in now gets dried and ready to go up to my apartment again.
Update 02
Clothes in the dryer and large comforter in the wash for a second round. It still smelled like dog pee. The pillows that I put in for a second round of washing will go into the dryer in eight minutes. Just shy of 5am now. Long night, but at least no one else is down here doing there laundry.
Update 03
I decided to go ahead and wash the last load which was mostly towels and washcloths. While I was down doing laundry, Cleopatra decided to eat the new 4 pack of toilet paper I put on the bathroom shelf and the brand new shower curtain I bought 2 days ago to replace the last one she chewed up!
I went ahead and cleaned the bathroom. Swept up everything trash and dog shit. Mopped the floor to get the rest of the poop up. Swept the living room, but it's not spotless yet. Maybe I'll do it later this week.
It's 7am, and the dryer will be done in another 30 minutes!!!
